Latest Jokes

A man went to a pet shop looking to buy a parrot. The shop had several parrots but one was priced much lower than the others. When the man asked why one was so much cheaper than the others, the pet shop owner assured the man that he did not want the cheaper one because it had a very foul mouth.

"I've tried everything, but I can't get him to stop cussing", he explained.

Eager to save some money, the man bought the parrot, sure he could teach the bird not to cuss. He too tried everything to stop the parrot's foul mouth.

Finally, in frustration, he put the bird in the freezer to cool off. After a few minutes, he opened the freezer to find the parrot with a totally changed attitude.

"Please, I'll NEVER cuss again! Please let me out! By the way, what did the chicken do?"

Son: Daddy, I got punished in school today.

Dad: Why?

Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying, "At the end of this scale there is an idiot.".

I just asked "Which end?".

A Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the following order:

New Bird
Neighbor Bird
Old Bird
Upstairs Bird
Insurance Bird
College Bird
Super market Bird

Finally she checks her name and it was saved as...

Angry Bird

103 passengers and only 40 meals got loaded on a INDIA to US flight.

The Airline had messed up, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant has an idea. About 30 minutes into the flight she nervously announces, "I don't know how this happened but we have 103 passengers and only 40 dinners.".

When the passengers muttering had died down she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his/ her meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited liquor during the entire duration of the flight.".

Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, "if anyone wants to change his/her mind we still have 40 dinners available!".