Latest Jokes

Teacher: If today is Christmas Eve, what is the day after Christmas?

A student quickly replied, Christmas Adam!

A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome.

The employer read all his applications & said, "We have an opening for people like you."

"Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"

"It's called the door!"

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"

The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".

"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"

"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", the camel mother answers.

"Thanks Mom" replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."

"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but... Mom?"

"Yes son?"

"Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?"

There were three idiots who were in another country and they didn't know the language. They decided that they would go to the local village and they would each learn one new phrase.

So they went to the village, and the first idiot was watching a girl sing, "Me,me,me,me,me!!" So that was the first idiot's phrase.

The second idiot saw a street vendor who was selling silverware and who was saying "Forks and knifes." And that was the second idiot's phrase.

The third idiot went to a park and saw a boy saying, "Swing me first!" And that was the third idiot's phrase.

The three idiots met back and were about to tell each other their new phrases when a policeman ran up and said, "There has been a murder. Who did it?"

The idiots decided to use their new phrases, so the first one said, "Me,me,me,me,me!"

The policeman said, "What was the murder weapon?" The second idiot said, "Forks and knifes."

The policeman said, "Y'all are going to have to hang for this." The third idiot said, "Swing me first!"