Latest Jokes

Little Johnny's dad drove Johnny to boarding school and leaves him there. For the following week however, Johnny misses school.

When Johnny returned to school the next week the teacher asks Johnny why he had missed class for a week. Johnny replied that his dad passed away and he had to attend to his funeral.

The following week, Johnny's dad comes to visit Johnny at school and was directed to Johnny's classroom. While at the door, Johnny's dad knocks and says “Excuse me sir, I am here to see my son, Johnny. I am his dad."

Teacher surprised and confused asks, "Are you Johnny's real dad? I thought Johnny's father had passed away?" Johnny's Father is confused.

The teacher realized what was going on. So he quickly turns to the class and calls out “Johnny, your dead father is here to see you."

Johnny's heart beats faster and he grows small, but looks up to the teacher and whispers "How the heck did he came back alive."

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.

Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.

The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What on earth did you put on this pizza?"

The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."

A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 6:30PM after work.

His wife screams at him while his friend sits and listens in.

"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I am still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the heck did you bring him home?"

Calmly the husband replies, "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo."

Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

The Retail Store!