Latest Jokes

Asia was by far my favorite destination,” the woman bragged at the party, though she had never been out of the United States. “Enigmatic and magical, beautiful beyond belief. And China, of course, is the pearl of the Asian oyster.”
“What about the pagodas?” a man besides her asked. “Did you see them?”
“Did I see them? My dear, I had dinner with them.”

Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper. The others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch.

A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.

“Oh yes,” he said. “They‘re my friends.”

“In that case,” warned the officer, “you’d better get them out of here!”

“Yes, sir,” the man replied and he began rowing furiously.

Two passengers on a ship are talking. “Can you swim?” Asks one.
“No,” says the other, “but I can shout for help in nine languages.”

What’s this daily charge for ‘fruit’? The hotel guess asked the manager. “We didn’t eat any.” “But the fruit was place in your room every day. It isn’t our fault you didn’t take advantage of it.” “I see,” said the man as he subtracted $150.00 from the bill
“What are you doing”? Sputtered the manager.
“I’m subtracting 50 dollars a day for your kissing my wife.”
“What? I didn’t kiss your wife.”
“Ah,” replied the man, “but she was there.”