maryjones Profile

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maryjones

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2018
# of jokes posted : 456
# of followers : 4
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 1172.00
$12.00 won 8 votes

A friend of mine went on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant. It's lying on the ground in distress. He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot. He removes it and the elephant happily trots away.

Twenty years later we were in London on business and were watching a circus procession pass by. When along comes an elephant, as it gets level with him, it stops, looks straight at him, reaches out with its trunk and lift him into the air and smashes him into the ground.

It was a different elephant.

8 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

An older man at the evening function bowed his head and wept quietly but copiously while while a young woman rendered the plaintive ballad, "My Old Kentucky Home."

The hostess tiptoed up to him and inquired tenderly, "Pardon me, are you a Kentuckian?"

"Nay, madam," the tearful one replied, "I'm a musician."

9 votes

CATEGORY Musician Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$8.00 won 6 votes

The Dean is hospitalized after a heart attack.

As he is lying in his hospital bed reflecting on his near brush with death, an attendant arrives with a lovely bouquet of flowers.

The Dean asks the attendant to hand him the card and finds that it reads, "By a vote of 26 to 3 with 2 abstentions, the faculty wish you a speedy recovery."

6 votes

CATEGORY College Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "maryjones" |
$9.00 won 7 votes

A couple returning from their honeymoon was in a deep discussion about people and their actions. John, the husband indicated: "I have always maintained that no two people on earth think alike."

Mary, his loving new bride commented: "You'll change your mind when you look over our wedding presents."

7 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "maryjones" |