My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun. I said to keep warm.
She asked, "How warm is it inside?"
I said, "Lukewarm."
My daughter wants the new iPhone for her birthday.
I told her she will if she gets good grades, does her chores and follows the house rules.
Otherwise, she will get a cheaper phone because...
It’s my way or the Huawei...
My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time...
So I bought a puppy to cheer me up.