Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have?
I planted myself on the sofa at the start of April and I’ve grown bigger ever since.
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.
I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"
Officer: "Why should you be released early?"
Officer: "Go on..."
Man: "I think..."
Man: "Can I please finish my sentence?"
Officer: "Sure, if that's what you really want. Parole denied."
I hate it when my wife says, "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.