Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you...

Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.

It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

Due to the quarantine...

I’ll only be telling inside jokes.

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.

He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”