Past Winners

Duck #1: "Quack."

Duck #2: "Quack."

Duck #3: "Quack, Quack."

Duck #1 takes out a gun and shoots Duck #3.

Duck #2: "Why did you shoot him?"

Duck #1: "He knew too much."

You might not know this... but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in... but you can see right through them

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off....it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object... Because to get them to go anywhere.....you have to light a fire under their arse.

SPONGES: These are female...because they are soft......squeezable and retain water.

I just finished candy shopping for Halloween.

That’s when the 55 and over seniors in golf carts show up for trick or trick, in my community.

They will have there choice of: Prilosec; Pepto, Zyrtec, Mylanta, or the ever popular, Gas-X.

Why do gourmet cooks stock on on herbs and spices in the fall?

Because they're seasonal.