entertainment jokes

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,
“I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”

But the blonde insisted saying,
“No. A bet’s a bet.”

Then the redhead said
“Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”

The blonde replied
“Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”

Sometimes I like to tuck my knees to my chest and lean forward.

That's just how I roll.

Here's how I will improve my odds if I were a Bond-film-villain:

• I will not burst into rage and kill the messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

• My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

• If I’m eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether to switch with him.

• My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

• When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?” I’ll say no and finish him off.

1) Teen age - Have time + energy , but no money

2) Working age - Have money + energy , but no time

3) Old age - Have time + money , but no energy