entertainment jokes

A woman stopped at a historic old hotel and asked the desk clerk for the room rates. “A room on the first floor is none hundred and fifty dollars; on the second floor, one hundred and forty dollars, and on the third floor, one hundred and thirty dollars.”
The woman turned to leave. “Don’t you like the accommodations?” asked the clerk.
“Oh, yes, it’s great,” replied the woman. “It just isn’t tall enough.”

A magician was facing an unruly crowd as his tricks failed to impress them. To cheer them up, the magician said: 'could any one please give me an egg. For I shall show you a marvelous trick'
One at the last row shouted: 'If we had an egg with us, it would have reached you long before'

Did you hear about the dead cabbage?
There was a big turnip at the funeral.

After a lady’s car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, “Lady, if that were my cat, I’d put him outside!”