misc jokes

Me: "I wanna travel!"

My bank account: "Like... to the backyard, you mean?"

What do all the people that spell U in place of YOU do with all that spare time?

Q: What did the spoiled rich girl say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?

A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Don’t wear headphones while vacuuming...

I finished the whole house before realizing the vacuum wasn’t plugged in.