misc jokes

When author John Milton got married he wrote "Paradise Lost".

After the marriage ended.... he wrote "Paradise Found".

Customer: Waiter, Do you have any Wild Duck?

Waiter: No, but I can get a tame one and irritate it for you?

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass!"

Someone came up to me on the street yesterday and ask if i had an extra cigarette.

I said, "No, I don't. My pack only came with twenty."