misc jokes

Fred: "Do you think I have any brains at all?"

John: "Well, how can I put this nicely, I can describe it best like this... If they were to take your brain, roll it into a little ball and roll it down the edge of a razor blade, it would look like a BB rolling down an eight lane freeway."

Christopher Columbus had Attention-Deficient Disorder. Think about it...

When he left he didn't know where he was going.

When he got there he didn't know where he was.

When he got back he didn't know where he'd been.

What do you call a hipster with one leg?

A "Hopster"!

After my divorce at age 40, my boss, a 70 year old business owner, approached me to find out how things were going with me and my ex.

I told him it was unexpected and now that I'm going through this, I'm finding out that my brother is also getting divorced, my neighbors are getting divorced, another coworker is also getting divorced.

I said, "I don't know what's going on!"

He told me with a straight face, "You guys are all doing okay getting divorced. The people I know are dying."