misc jokes
Favorite this joke The city has closed a road to repair a collapsed sewer-pipe. The actual road closure is not apparent until you go around a bend.
So a lot of drivers go to see if the road is really closed and then have to turn in the narrow road. Their embarrassment is made worse by the back of the "ROAD CLOSED" sign.
The back of the sign reads: "TOLD YOU SO!"
John and Fred were arguing over something Fred had done.
John finally said, "If you do it again, I'll slap you upside of the head so hard it'll make your teeth rattle!"
Fred replied, "You do and it'll be the last time you do!"
John responded, "If I do, it'll be the last time I have to!"
John: How's your new alarm clock working out?
Fred: It didn't work out at all. It gave me so much trouble I returned it to the store.
John: Really! What was wrong with it?
Fred: It kept waking me up every morning.
Handy Guide For Using A Dictionary
1. For your convenience, all words have been placed in alphabetical order. So merely open book to page where the word you wish to look up should be.
2. If you don't know how to spell the word you wish to look up, look up a synonym and hope the definition contains the word you wish to look up.
3. If you don't know what a synonym is, look up the word "synonym," since we just showed you how to spell that one.
4. Now, repeat Step 2 before repeating Step 1.
5. If the word you originally wished to look up is found to mean something entirely different than you thought it did, then your problem is insuperable.
6. Look up "insuperable."
Free Daily Joke