misc jokes

Two zombies were discussing how they were going to go out and satisfy their appetites.

"I think we need to be a little more authoritative and menacing," Zac said. "These potential victims seem to be taking us for granted."

"I don't know about that," replied Hal. "I think a subdued, common sense approach is the better way to go. That way they're more likely to let their guard down."

"I've listened to you take the polite approach when you get the urge to munch on gray matter," countered Zac. "I don't think that gets the job done."

"How so?"

"Well, for one thing, you DON'T ask your victim, 'Can I pick your brain?'"

The 65th annual Miss Universe was on the other night...

Funny thing is for the 65th year in a row, the winner was from Earth.

A man calls a refrigerator repair service. "My refrigerator isn't working."

"What kind is it?"

"It's a small one."

"Electric, gas or propane?"

"Propane."

"Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapor lock. You don't need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it back and all should be well."

Second call, a few minutes later. "The least you could have done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!"