misc jokes

When A Man and a Woman get a haircut...

Women:
Woman 2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman 1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman 2: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman 1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman 2: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman 1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men:
Man 2: Haircut?

Man 1: Yeah.

Someone once said that anything is possible...

So isn't it possible that I will never do anything?

As the bus pulled away, a woman realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later she called the company and was relieved to find out the driver had found it. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers greeted her.

One of the men handed over her handbag and a box. "We're required to inventory found wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything here."

As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse... and we'd like to see just HOW you do it."

Two extraterrestrials had just graduated the space cadet program on their planet. Both were duty assigned to a tiny blue planet in the Milky Way Galaxy called planet Earth. One of the young alien cadets asked the other, "Have you heard of planet Earth?"

His friend answered by saying, "No. I never have. But considering that you and I were last in our class, I have a feeling this is going to be one crazy adventure!"