misc jokes
Favorite this joke What do ninjas and farts have in common?
They're silent and deadly.
The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother", the nuns pleaded, "Please give us some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."
The head of the British division of Publishers Clearing House (the organization that shocks people at their door with a huge check) was recently knighted by the Queen of England.
What was the newly knighted name of this fellow?
Sir Prize!
A man went camping in a state park. Before leaving his car to go hiking he left a note on the dashboard saying, “The stereo is broke.”
He did this to deter thieves from breaking into his older model car. When returning from his hike the man noticed his car window was broken and the stereo was cut from the dashboard.
A note was left by the thief saying, “We’ll fix it.”
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