misc jokes
Favorite this joke Q: If you're stranded on a desert island, what 3 things would you most want to have?
A: Michael Phelps, a saddle, and a gold medal on a stick.
I live across the street from a crematorium.
What I want to know is, why do they have a delivery truck drop off marshmallows every morning?
A woman walks into a store that sells expensive rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman.
"Hello M'am. How may I help you today?"
Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir, how much does this rug cost?"
He answers, "Well, you broke wind just touching it. I'm anxious to see what happens when you hear the price."
A fantastic new series of billboard ads are now displaying along several highways, encouraging drivers to slow down. The billboards read:
Being "Mister Late" is always better than being the "Late Mister".
Free Daily Joke