misc jokes

God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well.

He comes to see Adam and says to him, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command. She will be beautiful and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg."

Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, "What can I get for a rib?"

A man goes into a patent office. He tells the clerk that he’s invented a baseball bat that dings when you hit the ball.

The clerk yells into the back room, "Hey Frank, it’s your turn, we have another 'ding bat'!"

Definition of Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

I just bought a new state-of-the-art washer/dryer. It even talks.

This morning it told me what it did with the other sock!