Best Jokes

After officiating at a baptism the priest was invited back to the parents home for tea and cake. He changed out of his vestments and went to the home where one little 4-year old boy kept staring at his white collar.

The priest finally said to the little boy, "Do you know what the white collar means that I am wearing?"

"Yes I do.", the little boy said.

"It means that you won't have flees or ticks for three months."

A man and his wife were arguing over sex.

Man: Sex is work!
Wife: Sex is pleasure!
Man: I don’t blame you, you don’t know what men are going through.
Wife: All I know is that sex is pleasure whether you like it or not.

The argument lasted for a long time until they decided to invite their house help to hear his own version.

House Help: Yes Sir?
Man: Is sex work or pleasure?
House Help: Ehmmm. Boss, sex is pleasure because if sex was work, you would have called on me to do it.

Q: Why did the picture go to jail?


A: Because it was framed.

Tooth Fairy

Dear _________________________________

Thank you for leaving [01] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of
lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request
for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found
( ) it was not a human tooth
( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny
( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor
( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash
( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you
( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails
( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for
appropriate action
( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth
fairy
( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received
( ) the tooth is still in your mouth
( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of
our visit
( ) no nightlight was on at the time of our visit
( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or
were missing
( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care
( ) other:

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided the following
certificate, which you may attempt to exchange at a retail store near
you.

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the
future.

Sincerely,


The Tooth Fairy