Best Jokes

At a restaurant one night, the man at the next table was pulling out all the stops to impress his underwhelmed date.

He crowned a lengthy list of lifetime achievements by stating, “At least I can say I have been a Hollywood movie producer.”

The woman nodded. “I’ll make a note of that: ‘has-been movie producer.'”

I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter.

Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, “For the talent show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?”

Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, “What’s the difference?”

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are...

But I laugh more!

Why does Snoop Dogg have carpet in his bathroom?

Fo' DRIZZLE!!!