Best Jokes

“I love my job,” a farmer says out loud.

A sheep replies, “Ha! All you do is boss me around all day!”

The farmer, clearly upset by this responds, “What did you just say?”

The sheep replies, “You herd me!”

Little Mary's father was typing away at his home computer, when she sneaked up behind him. Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it?" her sister asked eagerly.

Proudly Little Mary replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

Things that always tell the truth:

Small Children...

Drunks...

Yoga Pants!

My house is not messy...

I have just set up obstacles for any burglar that might want to test their luck.