Best Jokes

Man: What, according to you, is Philosophy?

Friend: Philosophy are the ideas that act as guides for the best ways to live.

Man: So do you follow them?

Friend: No. I want everyone else to follow.

Her: “Why do we need walkie-talkies? Our relationship is over.”

Me: “Our relationship is what? Over.”

Teacher: Little Johnny, if one and one make two, and two and two makes four, how much does four and four make?

Little Johnny: That isn’t fair, teacher. You answer the easy ones yourself and leave the hard ones for us.

A man finished baby-proofing his house and his wife says, "Aw, honey, I thought you said you didn't want to have kids?"

He responds, "I don't. Let's see them get in now."