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Favorite this joke I walked into the liquor store and a guy working there asked me, “Do you need help?”
I said, “Yes, but I’m here to get whiskey instead.”
Being the office supervisor, I had to have a word with a new employee who never arrived at work on time. I explained that her tardiness was unacceptable and that other employees had noticed that she was walking in late every day. After listening to my complaints, she agreed that this was a problem and even offered a solution.
"Is there another door I could use?"
During the vows at the wedding the minister asks the bride to be, "Do you take this man to be your wedded husband for better or worse?"
The bride answers, "Just as he is Father. If he gets any better, I know the Lord will take him, and if he gets any worse, I'll tend to him myself."
Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!"
"That's great sweetheart!" said her daddy.
"Come into the living room and tell me about it," daddy continued.
Little Anne said, "Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science."
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