Best Jokes

I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books.

After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he was looking for, but he didn’t answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books.

“Since I couldn’t find the right engagement ring, this will have to do,” he said as he firmly stamped my hand.

Across my knuckles, in capital letters, it read... “NOT FOR CIRCULATION".

Did you hear that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer never went to school?

That’s right—he was elf taught.

80% of my couch fell on my foot today...

...ouch!

Self isolation is getting so bad I’m starting to crush on my roommate...

And we’ve been married for more than 20 years.