Best Jokes

After a rough day spent corralling my rowdy kids, I’d had enough.

“I think I’m going to sell them,” I hissed to my sister.

“You’re crazy,” she said.

“For thinking of selling them?”

“For thinking someone would buy them.”

My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up.

Tyler was exuberant at the prospect.

"Cool!" he said. "I hope I get a German accent."

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied.

“You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained.

"But I did slow down!” the guy argued.

The cop shook his head. “You are required to stop. That’s why they’re called stop signs.”

The man started to get belligerent. “Stop, slow down – what’s the difference?”

The cop pulled out his baton. “I can show you. I’m going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down.