Best Jokes

Ken and Jim were fortunate in that they each had a season ticket to watch The Kansas City Royals. However, they had a friend Ed who would give his right arm for a season ticket. They could not help noticing that there was always an empty seat next to theirs.

One day, during a rain delay, Ken and Jim went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for their friend. The man at the window said, "Sorry men, that seat has already been sold."

Nevertheless, game after game, it was still empty. Then on Labor day, much to Ken and Jim's amazement, for the first time that season, the seat was full. Jim could not resist asking the newcomer, "Where have you been all season?"

"Don't ask," he said. "The wife bought this season ticket back in March, and gave it to me yesterday for a surprise Birthday present."

My neighbor, a tailor, has a new job.

I asked him how much he enjoyed it.

"It's Sew-Sew."

A frustrated husband sits in front of his laptop:

Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife... please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing and suggesting.

Thanks.