Best Jokes

1. What does a typical politician and a dress manufacturer have in common?
One skirts the issues, the other issues skirts.

2. What does a torpedo and a kitchen appliance supplier have in common?
One sinks ships, the other ships sinks.

3. What does a phone app and a U-Haul have in common?
One is downloaded, the other is loaded down.

4. What does a balcony and a drunk have in common?
One has an overhang, the other has a hangover.

5. What does a clown hiding in a cake and a son who discovers his dad's
secret have in common?
One pops out, the other outs pop.

I have a good handwriting... therefore, people don't believe I am a real doctor.

My wife had mentioned several times that she hoped I could get our grass mowed this weekend. Well, I procrastinated a bit too long and while I was watching football on TV, there was a 37 yard pass with a spectacular catch for a go ahead touchdown.

I jumped up and shouted, "Oh my GOSH! Did you see that?!?!"

And my wife said, "Yes, I see... what a lovely lawn they have."

If a rooster laid an egg on the top of the roof, which way will the egg fall if the wind is blowing west?


Answer: Roosters do not lay eggs.