Best Jokes

I went to a funeral yesterday where a vigil was held over the dearly departed while a document was read so everyone could find out who was left what.

That tells me, where there's a will, there's a wake.

Why were two giraffes kicked out of the zoo?

They were caught necking.

All haunted houses are the same. I went to one the other night, and heard the standard screams, shrieks, scary sounds and gotchas.

Then I went to another one down the road and it was like "Deja BOO!" all over again.

Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but the following call to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC's serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit.

Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she'd be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded, "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."