Best Jokes

Two residents of the town voted the dumbest city in the United States went to the local library to find out the origins of this dubious honor. Pouring through the original charters and reproductions of documents on microfiche, they came to some stunning conclusions.

"They didn't even know how to plot out the parcels of land to establish the city limits," said Tom.

"And the first mayor didn't even graduate from high school," added William.

"Looks like they wrote out the township's constitution on toilet paper," Tom remarked.

"Yeah, and look at the picture of the first city council. Who drew question marks above their heads?" asked William.

"It seems like right from the beginning, stupidity was the order of the day." Tom lamented.

At the next council meeting Tom and William went before the citizens and told them everything they had learned about how their city had its initial beginnings. Needless to say, the town was dumbfounded.

A young woman wasn't feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.

"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."

The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!"

Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."

An elderly couple were considering marriage. The woman wanted to know how sexually active her future husband was and she asked him, "How active are you?"

The man replied, "Infrequently."

The woman thought for a minute then asked, "Is that one word or two?"

A robbery took place in Milwaukee. A witness was being interviewed by a policeman. The policeman asked the man if he had lived in Milwaukee all his life.

The man replied, "No, not yet."