Best Jokes

My Dad, who is a pastor, was reading the newspaper the other day and it had an article on our University’s football team who had 3 wins in the last 3 seasons. Then he says, "Hey Son, did I tell you that I ran into head coach two months ago down at the Supermarket?"

"What did you tell him?" I replied.

"Well, I asked if I could pray for him and he said sure."

I couldn't help but ask, "Did you pray that he would quit or that he would be fired?"

One morning farmer Hank is trying to milk the cow but the cow kicks the bucket over, spilling milk everywhere. He sets the bucket back up and again the cow kicks the bucket. This happens 3 more times. After 5 unsuccessful attempts to milk the cow, the farmer comes up with a brilliant idea.

Tie the cow's leg to his leg, to prevent the cow from kicking over the bucket. The third time around the barn, farmer Hank knew this was a mistake.

A young boy asked his father if he knew the capitol of Delaware, his father didn’t know. The father, trying to save face quickly, changed the subject and told his son not to over feed his guinea pig. The ploy didn’t work.

The boy then asked his father another question he didn’t know the answer to. The father said, I may not know the capitol of Delaware but I do know what sis boom bah is. The son asked, "What’s that?"

The father replied, "It’s the sound you’ll hear if your guinea pig explodes."

It’s so hot today that I saw a Robin pick up a worm with an oven mitt.