Best Jokes

Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming.

Last night I had a dream that I won the Lottery...

This morning it wasn't a dream come true.

Once upon a time, two very sheltered monks visited the US for the first time and wanted to experience life in New York.

Upon visiting and receiving their first hot dogs ever, one monk asked the other, "Which part of the dog did you get?"

An organ grinder and a monkey enter a tavern and take a couple seats at the bar.
"Give me a shot of whiskey!" said the organ grinder to the bartender.

"I'll have the same," said the monkey.

The bartender looks in astonishment as he pours the drinks.

"What's the special here?" the organ grinder asks.

"Yeah," the monkey chimes in. "We're starving."

"O.K.," says the bartender. "What's going on here? You're a monkey. You can't talk!"

"I sure can! Not only can I talk, but I'm also a ventriloquist!"