Best Jokes

"Why do they always say 'Women and children first'?"

The only reason they say “Women and children first” is to test the strength of the lifeboats.

I was getting ready for a doctor's appointment and remembered how my mother once told me, "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away."

Taking her words to heart I decided to bring an apple. Needless to say, it was shot day, I didn't like needles and was thinking, "There must be some way out of this?"

So without thinking, I threw my apple at the doctor. He hasn't spoken to me since.

Stroke a cat...

And you will have a permanent job.

I started out with nothing!

And I still have most of it left.