Best Jokes

A guy comes home with a cat in his arms and says, "The man says this is a Cannibal monkey."

The wife says, "You are drunk an talking out your head!"

"Shush, I'm talking to the cat."

I called the Doctor this week. I said, "Doctor, I think my wife is dead."

He replied, "What makes you think that?"

I said, "Well, the sex hasn't changed, but the dishes are building up."

Where can you find a bunch of religious leaders going to exercise?

At "CrossFit"!

"Eagle? I thought you said BEAGLE."

"We're all out of red, so I used pink."

"There are two O's in Bob, right?"

"I hate it when I get the hiccups."

"Anything else you want to say? You've got plenty of room back here."

"I'll bet you can't tell I've never done this before."