Best Jokes

If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

Husband: "It says in this article that high fructose corn syrup made me gain all this weight."

Wife: "That's ridiculous!"

Husband: "Ok, 'Ms. know it all', if high fructose corn syrup didn't make me gain weight, what did?

Wife: (drolly) "Going back for thirds!"

Child (looking at the sky): "Daddy, what are clouds made of?"

Dad: "Well honey, EMC storage and VMware ESXi servers, mostly."

Child: ......

"Why do they always say 'Women and children first'?"

The only reason they say “Women and children first” is to test the strength of the lifeboats.