Best Jokes

The city has closed a road to repair a collapsed sewer-pipe. The actual road closure is not apparent until you go around a bend.

So a lot of drivers go to see if the road is really closed and then have to turn in the narrow road. Their embarrassment is made worse by the back of the "ROAD CLOSED" sign.

The back of the sign reads: "TOLD YOU SO!"

As men grow older they reach that stage in life where their hair quits growing on their head...

And begins to come out of their nose and ears instead.

John and Fred were arguing over something Fred had done.

John finally said, "If you do it again, I'll slap you upside of the head so hard it'll make your teeth rattle!"

Fred replied, "You do and it'll be the last time you do!"

John responded, "If I do, it'll be the last time I have to!"

There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.

They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed. The manager said, "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution."

The engineer said, "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."

The programmer said, "I think you're both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."