Best Jokes

Two clones were standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, one of them cursing wildly.

The other one, tired of hearing all the profanity, pushed the cursing one into the Canyon.

The police were called and immediately arrested the survivor.

He was charged with “making an obscene clone fall.”

I think I'm going to officially change my name to "Next"...

That way, I flash my ID, shout 'Excuse me, I'm Next' and I'll be able to go right to the front of the line.

An elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the river.

"What did you do that for?" asked a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 35 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory!" commented the giraffe.

"Yes," said the elephant, "turtle recall".

A manufacturer of electric light bulbs was talking to the owner of a theater. "I'd like to supply you with bulbs for your marquee," the manufacturer said, "and it won't cost you a penny. It will enable me to realize a lifelong ambition."

"If I accept the free bulbs," the curious theater manager asked, "will you tell me about this ambition of yours?"

"Certainly," the man said. "It's just that I've always dreamed of seeing my lights up in names!"