Best Jokes

Just to clear this matter up once and for all.

It's assumed that when a person get older their mental processes begin to slow down.

Now that I'm older I'm hear to say this assumption has absolutely no merit, my "brame" works just fine!

Generally, a person has two reasons for doing something...

One reason that sounds good, and then one reason that is the real one.

My wife and seven year old daughter invited their friends to have a tea party but you had to wear a sun dress and a floppy sun hat if you chose to attend. They had a blast laughing and enjoying themselves for over an hour.

I got to thinking what would be the man equivalent to such a party, so I decided to have a bacon party and the requirement was to wear camouflage.

Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.

"I think so, too," said Mabel. "Let's go!"

They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half.

They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed. Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister.

"I guess we can go home now, Mabel," she said. "This is where we came in."