Best Jokes

A friend and I stayed at a Chicago hotel while attending a convention. Since we weren't used to the big city, we were overly concerned about security.

The first night we placed a chair against the door and stacked our luggage on it. To complete the barricade, we put the trash can on top. If an intruder tried to break in, we'd be sure to hear him.

Around 1 a.m. there was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" my friend asked nervously.

"Honey," a woman on the other side yelled, "you left your key in the door."

If some people said what they thought, they'd be speechless.

My eleven month old was sitting in her high chair, twisting and moving all over the place. My wife said to me, “Straighten her up.”

I looked at my daughter and said, “Young lady, what are you doing with your life? Do you want to be this way forever? It’s time to grow up.”

My wife didn't find it as amusing as I did.

A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage.

The Photon replies, "No I'm traveling light."