Best Jokes

Someone once said that anything is possible...

So isn't it possible that I will never do anything?

Mary hated the idea of surgery. So she was very upset when the doctor informed her that she needed a tonsillectomy. Mary after much deliberation, decided to go ahead and have the procedure.

While she and the nurse were filling out an admission form, she was so nervous she couldn't think straight or hardly speak. The nurse, being a compassionate sort, patted her hand and said, "Don't worry. This is a simple medical procedure, and a problem that can easily be fixed."

"I am sure you are right. I'm being silly," Mary said, "Please continue."

"Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?"

"I read somewhere that they're going to launch some weasels up in a rocket."

"So where are they headed?"

"Otter space, of course!"

The owner of a factory that manufactures thick, brown syrup, produced during the refining of sugar, called his production crew in. "We have more work than we have people do it," he told his staff. "And, I find that the women we've hired in the past do a far better job then the men."

"What do you suggest we do?" asked one employee.

"It's simple," the owner said. "We need mo'lasses!"