Best Jokes

Sign I want on the side of my coffin...

"Don't take life too seriously. Now this, THIS is serious!"

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Is there such a thing as a rhetorical answer?

I applied for a position as a magicians assistant, laying on the table as he cuts me in half with a giant saw.

I figured it's a job I could really get in-two.