Best Jokes

Pool Player #1: "I nicknamed the cue ball on my pool table 'Itch'."

Pool Player #2: "Why?"

Pool Player #1: "I'm always scratching it!"

I wrote a short story about a carnival, that I blogged on the internet.

I called it my, "Fair e-Tale."

8. "Thank goodness for these evaluations. They keep me focused."

7. "I can't BELIEVE I get paid for this!"

6. "Here class... just put all your gym shoes in this box next to my desk."

5. "I bet all the people in our administration really miss teaching."

4. "Gosh, the bathroom smells so fresh and clean!"

3. "It must be true... the school news said so."

2. "I think the discipline around here is just a LITTLE too strict!"

1. "It's Friday already!!!"

Here are a few funny insurance claims people supposedly have made:

* "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

* "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

* "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

* "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

* "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

* "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

* "I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

* "When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

* "I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."