Best Jokes

Here are a few funny insurance claims people supposedly have made:

* "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

* "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

* "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

* "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

* "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

* "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

* "I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

* "When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

* "I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

Sign I want on the side of my coffin...

"Don't take life too seriously. Now this, THIS is serious!"

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Is there such a thing as a rhetorical answer?