Best Jokes

I got fired from my restaurant job.

Every time my boss told me to toss a salad, I did. Right in the dumpster.

His demands could have been expressed a little more clearly.

As a buddy and I were walking down the street near the middle of town we decided to turn down a side street we've never traveled on before. Walking past what appeared to be a retail establishment, all we heard was swearing and cursing coming from within.

And then, following that, we saw two very well dressed gentlemen walking out while continuing their obscenities as they left the store.

"What in the world is going on here?" I asked my friend.

"I think I read about this place," he replied. "We just walked past the Men's Swearhouse!"

Rule number one when it's your first day on the job as a butler...

When your employer tells you to "Draw my bath," DO NOT take out a pencil and a sheet of paper.

My father was a gambler when I was growing up, so I thought I would confide in him this nightmare I kept having.

"Dad," I began, "I keep having these dreams about a supernatural evil entity that takes horse racing bets from gamblers. He seems so real to me."

"Don't worry, son," my dad assured me. "There's no such thing as the bookey-man."