Best Jokes

~ Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder.

~ Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.

~ Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the games.

~ Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (e.g., "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")

~ Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."

~ Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.

~ Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically, "It didn't work!"

~ Ring jingle bells maniacally saying, "Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings!"

What do you call the significant other of a Bohemian chess player?

Czechmate!

What are the facilities called where huskies are trained to start their sleds moving and to speed them up in the Iditarod sled competition?

Mush Rooms.

A little girl waited patiently as child after child sat on Santa's knee when finally her turn came.

"And what would you like for Christmas?" Santa asked.

Shocked, she stood up and looked him in the eye and said, "Didn't you get my text?"