Best Jokes

During the trade wars of the 18th century, bartering was quite common among seafaring merchants who needed laborers to load and unload their wares at each port. They were willing to trade just about anything to get strong, loyal workers.

At one port, the captain of a merchant ship had his eye on a well-built, muscular potential addition to his crew, whose name was Anwar. He approached Anwar's owner.

"I'll trade you 50 pounds of course-grained igneous quartz rock for Anwar," he proposed.

"What do you think about the offer, Anwar?" his owner asked him.

"If you ask me," Anwar replied," I don't like being taken for granite!"

I always carry a skeleton key with me just in case...

Just in case I have to break into a haunted house.

Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks.

If you are diving and are approached by a shark, they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible.

If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump.

If an elephant has a trunk, then just where is his glove compartment?