Best Jokes

Did you hear about the two robbers who were arrested for stealing a calendar?

They both got six months!

I attempted being a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

"You admit having broken into the dress shop two times?" asked the judge.

"Yes," answered the suspect.

"And what did you steal?"

"A dress, your Honor," he replied.

"One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in twice!"

"Yes, your Honor," sighed the suspect. "I had to exchange it. My wife didn't like the color."

Two elderly men were sitting on a park bench when one said to the other man, "Are you comfortable?"

The other man replied, "I'm okay, I make a living."