Best Jokes

My doctor has advised me to stop drinking.

It's going to be a massive change for me.

I've been with that doctor for 15 years.

Principal: "Johnny, no running in school. Now, just why are you in such a hurry?"

Little Johnny (out of breath): "Sir, I'm trying to keep two fellows from fighting!"

Principal: "Who are those fellows?"

Little Johnny: "Billy Jones and myself!"

We all know where the Big Apple is...

But does anyone know where the 'Minne-apol-is'?

Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to choose from, my customer at the toy store still couldn’t find a thing for her grandson.

"Maybe a video or something educational?" I asked.

"No, that’s not it," she said.

We wandered the aisles until something caught her eye, a laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched sounds.

"This is perfect," she said, beaming. "My daughter-in-law will hate it."