Best Jokes

I just bought a new state-of-the-art washer/dryer. It even talks.

This morning it told me what it did with the other sock!

"I'm a little worried about our mailman. Last week I found a pile of bones on the front walk and the dog was picking his teeth with a postcard."

I was a compulsive gambler. I finally quit and told my best friend that I would never gamble again.

He turns to me and says, "Wanna bet?"

Did you hear about the idiotic karate champion who joined the army?

The first time he saluted, he knocked himself out.