Best Jokes

Daughter: I can't marry him, Mother. He's an atheist and doesn't believe there's a hell.

Mother: Marry him, my dear, and between us we can convince him that he's wrong.

While sitting through an exceptionally long sermon, little Donny was getting more restless by the minute. Suddenly in a loud whisper, he blurted out, "If we give him the money now, do you think he will let us leave?"

Waitress: Haven't they giving you a menu yet, mister?

Starving customer: Yes, but I finished that half an hour ago.

I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone...

I said, "The whole time."